So you are interested in the Lifestyle. Perhaps you heard someone talking about it, came across a website discussing it, been thinking about it for a while or maybe even just happened upon this site and now your not sure about a whole range of topic from where to start to what is the etiquette.
We have put together a series of articles here to help with some of these topics for you.
When we started out, there was a very nice couple that was the first couple we met. They were very experienced with well over 10 years in the lifestyle and were very patient with us and took the time to pass on may of their experiences and answered many of our questions. This couple made everything so much easier for us. Now, we like to pass on much of the same advice to others. Something to keep in mind is that everyone's preferences, desires, comfort level and other personal choices are different for each of you so take this guide as just a series of stories, helpful hints and things to think about. You should take in the information off this site and make decisions that are right for you.
Opening up your sex life to include activities beyond those generally considered "acceptable" can be one of the greatest things any one or couple can experience. If your not prepared, it can also be one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Immediately everyone jumps to, "how can this be such a big mistake?" Nobody wants to be in that category. The best way to avoid the pitfalls is to be aware of what they are and try to avoid them. We will be dedicating an article to most of them.
What are some of the pitfalls you may encounter include:
Moving too fast - Don't jump into doing things that you simply are not ready for. Understand and set your limits.
Communication - You should communicate with your partner about everything. Discuss as much as you can and understand each others feelings. Communicate your feelings with the people you will play with as well. When the others you play with understand your feelings, boundries, wants and desires they can respect and act accordingly.
Honesty - Don't do anything in secret. You are about to bring other people into what you have always considered to be an intimate experience. Your partner finding you have not been honest and forthcoming in any way allows doubt to enter into the situation and can cause distrust and jealousy.
Jealousy - This may be the one that becomes a problem for some people. The first problem is seperating the idea of intimacy and love from sex. When meeting with other in the lifestyle one thing to keep in mind is you are there for sex. You want to have fun, please and be pleased but also need to realize there is no emotional investment.
Bad Experience - This can cause even veteran swingers to want to rethink your actions. The two things to realize are that first, you should not play with them again and second you should keep in mind that what every went wrong you can take the experience and use that knowledge to make a different choice for next time.
If we haven't scared you off yet there is good news. Follow some of this advice and you can eliminate or mitigate many of pitfalls and make the lifestyle a very happy experience.